Fuck You Quarantine I’m Having Thug Kitchen Bean Burritos – And You Can’t Stop Me.

When you can’t dine out, because everyone’s shouting about corona virus from the rooftops, you gotta eat in. (And maybe wear ear plugs because you can still hear those mo fos shouting on the roof) I’d had it up to here with tinned soup, and baked beans and freezer foods so I decided to say…

Dine Like a Lazy Thug: Pasta Piselli

Sometimes dinner has got to be easy. Easy for those days where you haven’t stopped and your head feels like it’s going to explode. Or the days where you’ve barely got food in the house because you haven’t shopped. Or for those days where you’ve put your back out and you’re forced to walk around like…

Spellbinding Thug Kitchen Biryani

Okay, so this time I’d got my beady eyes on the One-Pot Chickpea Biryani from Thug Kitchen 101: Fast as Fuck. I’ve actually been wanting to try this recipe since when I first got the book, but the Spaghetti Pie ended up seducing me into cooking it first. Like a lover that’s been slighted, the…

For a Good Time Stress Your Way to Relaxation.

The thugs promised me a relaxing-ass evening if I made this yummy pasta dish: Swiss chard and tomato linguine with balsamic-glazed chickpeas. I’ve gotta say, I friggin needed to relax. Stress levels were creeping up to high. I hadn’t noticed just how tense I was, but you realise you’re stressed when your jaw starts to…

Dear Winter. Go Fuck Yourself. Shitty Regards From My Toes.

It’s winter. Fucking winter. You lie awake at night with ice-cold toes under your blanket. You can hear the clock ticking. Tick tock, tick tock. sarcastically reminding you that you only have a few hours of shut-eye left before you’re meant to get up to start another day.  The more aware you become of the time, the harder…

Smuggling Swedes, Running Rutabagas.

Roasted Rutabaga Wedges. Page 4 of Thug Kitchen 101: Fast as Fuck Feast your eyes on my contraband. This shit is known as a swede, or as a rutabaga. In my world this would be called a swede, and it’s be super easy to find dozens of them in a supermarket in the UK. But since moving…

Thug Kitchen Totally Crushes It With A Chickpea Salad Done “French-Style.”

When it’s hot as a motherfucker and you can’t be bothered to cook, but you still want something more than a few gulps from your garden hose, then this is the shit for you. If you’re lazy like me, skip the bread and eat this straight from the bowl. Like a fucking animal. Fuck utensils. Fuck…

Thug Kitchen Fattoush Salad

Romaine lettuce is having a bad time right now. Everyone’s picking on it cause it got E. Coli. Like it caught it on purpose, or something. Nobody wants E. Coli. Why does society always blame the injured party? It’s like saying a rape-victim asked for it. “Should you really have been wearing that dress?” As if it’s not bad…

KAPOW! : Thug Kitchen White Bean and Cabbage Soup

Holy Flying Fuck-Monkeys! So I just listened to one of the latest Thug Kitchen podcasts – A.K.A. Forked Up – and it was the podcast where they interview Laila Ali about her new cookbook ‘Food For Life.’ It sorta head-fucked me a bit because in it Laila Ali talks about how her eating has changed since discovering…

Easter Eggs or Eggplants? Your Mouth, Your Choice.

Curry Roasted Eggplant from Thug Kitchen 101: Fast as Fuck. Looking forward to Easter? Gonna cram a bunch of Easter eggs in your mouth? Why not Eggplants instead? I’ll tell you why not. They’re usually gross and even sorta slimy. I’ll tell you another why not. Because THESE eggplants are so fucking crunchingly good, that…

Arugula Potato Salad with Fennel

I’ve been away for a while. I didn’t go far though. I was just over here on my couch, binge watching ‘Chef’s Table’ on Netflix, and contemplating the meaning of life, the meaning of food, the meaning of guacamole. I’ve been doing more cooking recently, and less writing. I blame it on the Thugs and my…

Why Shun Valentine’s Day When You Can Stay in and Eat Cabbage?

Pan-Fried Cabbage with Mustard Seeds from the Thug Kitchen Fast as Fuck cookbook. This cabbage may not look like something spectacular or sexy, but it could easily dazzle the pants off of me any day of the week. So how can it not be the perfect valentine’s dish? Why go out, when you can stay in and…