Goddamn Gorgeous Chocolate-Coconut Pie

This is the holy grail of all pies.

It covers all the important food groups like Chocolate and Coconut. It’s sort of like Malibu rum with chocolate flavoured milk. Yum.

Eat this shit in your sunny garden with your eyes closed, and pretend you’re on holiday somewhere, where the rum is flowing freely. You can even get the feeling of the sandy beach between your toes if you go as far as sticking your feet in your cat’s litter tray. I mean if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

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I’d had my eye on this pie for a while.

I’d been semi-stalking it. Finally I could resist it no more, so I grabbed a bowl and got started. I got all the ingredients out to make the base and then got my ass really confused since the ingredients for the base were on one page, and the ‘how to’ was on another. I poured myself another coffee, because this pie deserved my full attention.

Fortunately, I realised before I started that I didn’t have enough coconut oil for the base. I was still in pajamas and didn’t feel like going out, so I decided to use the base recipe from the Banana Cream Pie from Thug Kitchen book 1, because it called for less coconut oil. And that base is the shizzel too. The bee’s knees. The cat’s pajamas. The goat’s scrote.

This was still only the second time I’d ever made a pie base from scratch, so the fun-novelty still hadn’t worn off the part where you throw some old beans down into in the base. I’m not sure what it is about this part that I like so much, I just do.

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Once the buttery biscuit base was done and a beautiful golden colour, I took it out of the oven. But something wasn’t right. Either my oven had had an earthquake, or I’d done something wrong somewhere along the way.

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Before I let this fissure breach my cool state of mind, I thought fuck it. The filling will cover this unexpected crack. No one will know.

I melted the dark chocolate for the filling, and then whipped it into the thick and creamy coconut milk. The kitchen was abuzz with sounds and smells. I tried to capture an action shot for you, to capture the ambience. Feast your eyes on this drippy chocolatey goodness.

When it was just the right amount of fluffy, I moved on to the coconut cream. Once it was made I tried to pour it all into the base in an elegant way, where the coconut cream would entirely cover the pie, like the picture in the book. This didn’t happen, and I got filling up my arm, and even somehow managed to rip the page in the book. That was not cool. But I moved on. There would be pie at the end of all this.

I popped it in the fridge and left it there ALL GODDAMN DAY. Talk about will power.

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Before serving, I shaved some chocolate over it like the Thugs suggested to make it extra fancy, classy as hell. The comment they’d made about the veggie peeler made me laugh out loud in my kitchen. I LOVE THUG KITCHEN, they’re genius.

20170630_185902This pie was eaten in no time. There were seven of us eating it for dessert, and we could EASILY have eaten a second pie, if not a third. I think I could easily have eatten half this pie alone, in one sitting, without it becoming too sweet or sickly.

It was just so light and fluffy. Like a taste cloud in your mouth.

I think there were some angels whispering coconutty sweet nothings in my ear while I ate, but I had to keep swatting the fuckers away because I wasn’t sharing my pie with nobody.

So do yourself a favour. Don’t make this pie. Make two of them, and then hide one from your guests.

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